Thoughts
by theblackrose101
Summary: First Castle fanfic! Kate and Rick realise their feelings for each other. This story go's through their process of opening up. Reviews are welcome but please don't be extremely harsh! I don't own Castle!: - -
1. Chapter 1

People say which is better; Saying something and wishing you hadn't or saying nothing and wishing you had? For me it changes everyday depending on the turns the day takes. A few weeks ago I kissed my best friend, we were undercover and trying to save our colleges but it's still a kiss… two actually. After that kiss I say that it was amazing but then she looks at me and go back on myself covering it with the way she span out of the kiss to knock the guard out. She had just stared at me for a minute searching my eyes looking for anything before she turned to go and save our friends. Ten minutes after that moment I found myself pounding a guys face because he was going to kill her, my best friend the love of my life. She walked over to me as I sat in the back of an ambulance after getting my hand wrapped in gauze, jokingly calling me Chuck Norris and laughing about the boys before she turned serious. I stared into her eyes as she thanked me for having her back in there and I answered in the only way my mind would let me, with one simple word with so much meaning behind it, the word being 'Always'. I know she saw what I meant that I would be there for anything, anytime if she needed me. I could tell she was puzzled slightly by my serious side see has only seen it once or twice before.

Then a few cases later Kate and I need to go undercover again this time in a club. We had left the precinct and went to her apartment for her to get changed she came back into the main room looking absolutely stunning. We then went back to my loft and I got changed I came out to see her sitting on the couch talking to my mother about trying to honor Chet's memory somehow. And before we left as usual we argued over who was driving and a usual she won and drove my shiny red Ferrari to the club. As soon as we got inside she danced her way through to the bar and told me to get drinks and then she wandered off in search of the dealer. My eyes followed her checking her out as she went, and unfortunately she turned and caught me giving me the 'stop it I own a gun' look. Once I had brought the drinks and approached her, and personally I found it so hot the way she had our guy pinned to the table.

A few weeks after that we got quarantined together and she was saying she wanted a relationship where she could just dive in with that guy. Just before I could tell her I wanted to be that guy one the guys that were in a hazmat suit walked in to tell us we were clear. A few hours later we got kicked off the case but stupidly went rouge and worked on the cases against orders. We found the place where the bomb was it was in a white van but before we could do anything someone started shooting at us. We took cover and Kate shot back, somehow we got trapped inside this freezer with a dead body! We looked for a signal but found none, I then her shots and realized Kate was shooting at the door. I managed to stop her and we slowly sunk to the floor. I remember that before she passed out that she nearly said she loved me but yet again fate got in the way. Ten hours after that we were stood together staring at the bomb holding hands. Agent Fallon just told us that he didn't know how to disarm it and with two seconds to spare I grabbed all of the wires and pulled. With zero seconds on the clock we were still alive and Kate was hugging me like there was no tomorrow. That night after drinks with the team I walked heartbroken towards the elevator. I was just about to pour my heart out to her when the stupid Dr Motorcycle Boy walked up behind her. Now that think about nearly a year ago Kate wore a similar expression to me now when I walked off with Gina… Oh Geez she was going to tell me! I am so stupid all I had to do was wait a little longer before being a gentleman and bowing out. She must have felt the same as I do now but at least I get to see her tomorrow. She didn't see me for four months no wonder she was so mad.


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright people I am insanely sorry for not updating and I think I have some good reason so don't kill me. **

**Fanfiction was not letting me login in. I believe it was happening to quite a few people, correct me if I'm wrong.**

**One of my best friends died and I was and still am an emotional mess but I'm a bit better. This story has now been dedicated to her Memory.**

**My parents dragged me off on holiday/vacation in Scotland where there was terrible internet access and we forgot the laptop.**

**I really hope you can forgive me!**

**Disclaimer: The T.V. show Castle does not belong to me… unfortunately!**

People say which is better; Saying something and wishing you hadn't or saying nothing and wishing you had? For me it changes everyday depending on the turns the day takes. A few weeks ago I kissed my best friend, we were undercover and trying to save our colleges but it's still a kiss… two actually. We were on a stake out and I had said that I was open to dumb ideas, and that's how we ended up walking down the street like a drunken couple. The guard didn't believe it so I reached for my gun but Castle stopped me grabbing my hand and the back of my head before pulling me in and kissing me. I managed to pull myself back to stare into his eyes before plowing back into his embrace sucking on his lower lips drawing a moan from within myself. The guard chuckled bringing me from the world I was on, I span out of the kiss pulling Castle with me as I knocked the guard out. After that he said that it was amazing but then I look at him and he goes back on himself covering it with the way I span out of the kiss to knock the guard out. I had just stared at him for a minute searching his eyes looking for anything before I turned to go and save our friends. Ten minutes later I heard a bag and ran towards it and I found myself staring upon castle pounding Lockwood's face in. I walked over to him as he sat in the back of an ambulance after getting his hand wrapped in gauze, jokingly calling him Chuck Norris and laughing about the boys before I turned serious. He stared into my eyes as I thanked him for having my back in there and he answered in the only way he could, with one simple word with so much meaning behind it, the word being 'Always'. I saw what he meant that he would be there for anything, anytime if I needed him. He could tell I was puzzled slightly by his serious side as I have only seen it once or twice before.

Then a few cases later Rick and I need to go undercover again this time in a club. We had left the precinct and went to my apartment for me to get changed, I came back into the main room looking absolutely stunning if I do say so myself. We then went back to his loft and he got changed he came out to see me sitting on the couch talking to his mother about trying to honor Chet's memory somehow. And before we left as usual we argued over who was driving and a usual I won and drove my shiny red Ferrari to the club. As soon as we got inside I danced my way through to the bar and told him to get drinks and then I wandered off in search of the dealer. His eyes followed me checking me out as I went, and unfortunately for him I turned and caught him giving him the 'stop it I own a gun' look. Once he had brought the drinks and approached me, and I already had our guy pinned to the table.

A few weeks after that we got quarantined together and I was saying that I wanted a relationship where I could just dive in with that guy. Just before he could tell me something one the guys that were in a hazmat suit walked in to tell us we were clear. A few hours later we got kicked off the case but stupidly went rouge and worked on the cases against orders. We found the place where the bomb was it was in a white van but before we could do anything someone started shooting at us. We took cover and I shot back, somehow we got trapped inside this freezer with a dead body! We looked for a signal but found none; I started shooting at the door again. He managed to stop me and we slowly sunk to the floor. I remember that before I passed out that I nearly said that I loved him but yet again fate got in the way. Ten hours after that we were stood together staring at the bomb holding hands. Agent Fallon just told us that he didn't know how to disarm it and with two seconds to spare he grabbed all of the wires and pulled. With zero seconds on the clock we were still alive and I was hugging Rick like there was no tomorrow. That night after drinks with the team I watched as he walked heartbroken towards the elevator. I was sure he was just about to pour his heart out to me when stupid Dr Motorcycle Boy walked up behind me, but all I wanted to do was go after him.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I am sorry I haven't updated for…I think over a month and this time I have no excuse other than plain old laziness. So because of this I have decided to just update whenever and not in any set time. I will probably get the fourth installment out at the weekend. And did any of you know that there is a place in England called Richard's Castle, I saw the sign for it when coming back off holiday and had a mini freak out in the back of the car going 'OMG! Richard's Castle, Richard Castle how amazing is that!' On the same sign I saw that there was a place called Raglan something and that was right after I saw knockdown so that brought on another freak out… but you don't want to know about that so on with the story.**

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine but instead of winning the lottery sometime in this life I really want to win Castle!**

Kate sat at her desk, the team had just completed their latest case, and she was now doing paperwork. She had just one more paper to sign before it was finished. Rick had gone out to get them and the others some coffee and doughnuts. So when the elevator dinged indicating that some had arrived at the homicide department's floor she looked up hoping to see Rick but all she saw was her soon to be ex-boyfriend walking towards her.

"Kate I want to talk to you!" exclaimed Josh

"Not now Josh I'm busy!" She snapped

"No you're not I just saw you put down your pen and put the papers back in the folder!"

"So what!"

"I need to talk to you its important"

"Fine!" Kate said as she stormed into the break room.

"Kate I'm going away on another trip…for a year!"

"You are going away again?"

"Yes"

"Fine just don't expect me to be waiting for you when you get back!"

"What's that meant to mean?" Josh asked looking shocked.

"It means that we're over Josh so go and get your thing from my apartment and go back to your… stuff!"

"What this ruins my plan!"

"What plan Josh!"

"I was going to pretend I was going on the doctors without borders then one night before you came home I'd set out a nice romantic meal, get down on one knee and ask you to marry me!"

"Saying that to me won't change my decision Josh it is over between us I'm not dating you anymore and I'm certainly not going to marry you!"

"It's because of him isn't it?"

"Because of who!"

"That bloody Richard Castle 'your best friend' I bet you've been sleeping with him all along! I'm not stupid Kate I decide to read his books he based off you because they seemed important to you. Those sex scenes Kate…they had to have been based off something he has experienced and since he based the book's on you he must have experienced you in a much better way than I ever have because I've never felt as much 'Heat' in that situation he had written between your characters ever in our relationship!"

"For the last time Josh I am not sleeping with Castle!"

"Whatever!" He snapped as he stormed out of the break room and into the bullpen, just as the author walked off the elevator and headed to Kate's placing a coffee on it. "You fucking twat!" Josh yelled as he stormed over to Rick. Hearing Josh yell Kate ran into the bullpen to see Josh approaching Rick.

"Josh stop!"

"You stay the bloody hell out of this!" He snapped pointing an accusing finger at her.

"Hey, Josh man what are you doing?" Rick asked a hint of fear in his voice.

"I'm doing something someone should have done a long time ago!" And with that Josh's fist made a sickening sound as it made contact with Rick's face. Detectives rushed over to restrain Josh while Kate went over to look after and calm Rick down.

"Beckett!" Boomed the captains' voice.

"Yes sir!"

"Call Dr. Parish and get her up here now!"

"Yes sir!" And with that started fumbling with her phone before finally managing to call Lanie.

"Dr. Parish here please state your emergency!" Lanie said down the phone in a fake happy voice.

"Lanie! Oh God you need to get up here with your medical kit right now! Josh just went mental and…"

"And what Kate!"

"I'll explain when you get up here just please hurry it won't stop bleeding!"

"What won't stop bleeding Kate?"

"Rick's face!" Kate exclaimed with a faint 'oh thanks' coming from the dazed Richard Castle.

"I'll be right there!" Lanie said quickly before hanging up.

Lanie arrived to a frantic bullpen less than five minutes later, she saw Kate sat next to a complaining Rick and Lanie could tell that Kate really wanted to run away from everything but was resisting. She jogged over to Rick and started to clean the gash in the side of his face while Kate sat hovering…watching. After the blood was cleaned away Lanie stitched it back up (The stick on ones I've seen on TV), when she had finished she went to talk to Kate.

"Alright Kate, What happened?" Lanie asked

"I broke up with Josh and he kind of went mental because he was going to propose to me! And then he said that I was probably sleeping with Castle all along, I denied it because I would never cheat. He said whatever then stormed out of the break room and punched Castle in the face."

"So we are back to Castle now are we?"

"What?"

"On the phone you said, and I quote, 'Rick's face'!"

"What do you expect I was bloody freaking out Lanie! One of my best friends just got punched in the face because I broke things off with Dr. Motorcycle Boy" Kate exclaimed with a loud laugh at the end.

"What is so funny?"

"Dr. Motorcycle Boy!"

"What the hell is so funny about that!"

"Josh is Dr. Motorcycle Boy!"

"Kate? Are you ok?" Suddenly sobering up Kate looked Lanie in the eyes so seriously in the eyes it made her worry more.

"He hit me Lanie! I'm a cop I am meant to be able to protect myself but I couldn't stop him hitting me!" Kate suddenly broke down in tears slumping down to the ground in the middle of the bullpen. "H…He..Wooo…wooowould force…" Kate forced out the words before a fresh wave of tears struck her. By now Javier, Kevin and Roy had come over. Javier gently reached down and picked Kate up carrying her to the captains' office, once inside he sat her down on the couch.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Ok, so I said I was going to update at the weekend about 2 months ago and obviously that didn't happen and I'm sorry about that. But here is the next part I hope you like it because I'm not sure what I think so please let me know what you think. Thank you to everyone who has alerted this story. And I say on with the show!**

**Disclaimer: If the show was mine I would be extremely happy and I would so not be living in England still the weather is terrible… well not today it's about 25 degrees Celsius and the sun is shining. Oh and I wouldn't still be going to the prison we all call SCHOOL! **

"Kate it's ok you can tell us we won't judge you" Rick said as he sat down next to her. Kate looked up to the faces of her friends, tears starting to slow down as Rick rubbed soothing circles on the small of her back, they watched her patiently. After taking a deep breath Kate stood up and started pacing.

"The first weeks of our relationship were good we got on fine but around the time when Castle got back things started to change. Josh became possessive would text me or try and call me every minute he had spare and if I missed a call he would yell at me when I arrived at home. After the time he met all of you here he got worse if I mentioned any of you he would go mad and sometimes hit me. When he got back from Africa he found my mum's murder board that's on my window… Castle you know where it is. Anyway he found it and asked what about that case was so important I had to have it pinned up in my home, I answered him saying it was my mother's case and that she was murdered but the case was never solved he was already mad that I hadn't told him. So when I told him that you guys already knew and Castle had actually been working the case with me he flipped out again. That was the last thing that happened for awhile and everything was back to normal for a week or two. But after Castle and I had been trapped in the freezer and everything that happened in those few days I didn't feel like you know… any way after Castle left Josh took me home and forced me to comply with what he wanted me to do, so because I wasn't a willing participant I guess you could class it as rape. It has happened since then but you know me I'm too stubborn to ask for help but I got fed up with being treated the way he was treating me so I just broke up with and apparently he was going to ask me to marry him, like I was going to marry him after what he had done. Then he started accusing me of cheating on him and sleeping with Castle which I wouldn't because not matter how badly I'm treated I don't cheat. That's when he charged out of the break room and punched Castle in the face and you know from there!" Everyone stood there frozen at the news they just heard. Rick was the first to react, standing up and pulling her into a tight hug unwilling to let go, at this Kate's tears slowly started to fall again. She wrapped her arms firmly around him clinging to the comfort he was giving her. Finally after what seemed like hours the silence that had come over them was broken by the captain.

"Rick take her home… watch some corny movies, I don't care what you do, just keep her away from the precinct for the next few days!"

"Yes, Sir." Rick responded and was trying to get Kate to walk but was having trouble, so he gathered her up in his arms and carried her out of the precinct.

"Oh my God…" Lanie murmured. "Why didn't she tell us she can trust us! Doesn't she trust us?"

"Lanie calm down, sometimes people find it hard to be open about these things." Javier said

"I know, just do something to make him suffer for what he's done to our girl…"

"Don't worry, he will suffer, no one touches my little sister and gets away with it!" Kevin growled

Rick managed to get Kate into his loft and set her down on the couch. Fifteen minutes later the door to the loft opened to reveal Alexis and Martha whom after spotting Kate curled into Ricks arm froze. Even though she didn't show it, Kate heard them enter the room; the tears had stopped falling as she snuggled further into his arms. Rick rested his head on tops of hers and gave a soft smile to his mother and daughter, whom had now ventured over to them. Sitting softly down on the couch Alexis went and curled up on Kate's other side as Martha headed into the kitchen to get herself a Bloody Mary. Minutes passed before Martha came back into the lounge and sat next to Alexis. What seemed like hours passed as the family of sorts sat together in silence the only thing you could here was the faint ticking of a clock coming from Rick's office. Kate started shifting slightly before sitting up slowly in order to not hurt the sleeping Alexis, when she had finished righting herself the girls head gently slid into her lap and Kate started subconsciously stroking her strawberry blonde hair. Martha excused herself but not before requesting that Rick orders them all some food. It took ten minutes before Rick reluctantly pulled himself away from Kate and his daughter, placing gentle kisses on both of their heads which evoked a small smile from Kate as she looked up at him. Rick picked up his phone but just before he dialed there was a knock at his door so putting down his phone he went to answer it. Opening the door he looked upon Lanie standing there looking freaked out with a relatively angry looking Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan behind her, opening the door further he beckoned them in.

"Castle, you may want to get Alexis to leave the room because you may not want her to hear about the things Beckett will have to answer because we have a few more questions and some news you probably won't like."

"Ok, Kate can you please wake Lex and tell her to go up stairs I'm just going to make the guys and Lanie some drinks."

"Yeah, sure."

"Thanks" With that Rick left the room and Kate woke Alexis up and told her that the adults needed to talk about some things and then she could come back down. Alexis nodded into Kate's shoulder hugging her tightly before walking out.

"First of all girl, why didn't you tells you were all cozy with the Castle clan?" asked Lanie

"I'm not all cozy with them!"

"Ummhmm. So that's why writer-boys daughter was curled up in your arms when we came in?"

"Lex fell asleep on me while I wa…"

"While you were what?" Asked Lanie with a smirk

"While I was curled up on the couch…" Kate answered sharply

"Curled up on the couch doing what?"

"Sitting with Ri…Castle!"

"Did you just nearly say what I thought you nearly said?"

"Huh?"

"Did you just nearly go Rick?"

"What?, no you must be going crazy!"

"No she isn't we heard it too!" Exclaimed Kevin and Javier

"Heard what?" asked the guy in question.

"Nothing!" the other four said at once.

"Ok, I really believe that!"


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I have not posted anything in about a year but here is the new installment of the story. I don't have Beta so all mistakes are my own and I'm not perfect so there are bound to be some! I hope you enjoy this chapter, there won't be any more on this for a while.  
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><strong>Disclaimer: There is a reason it is 'In Marlowe We Trust', that is because he owns Castle not some British teen... <strong>

After finishing the banter the group sat down to discuss what needed to be talked about. Kate sat between Lanie and Rick on the couch, Kevin and Javier sat opposite.

"Beckett we've spoken to Josh and he's denying everything…" Stated Kevin "The only thing we have proof on is the fact that he punched Castle and charges probably won't hold on that."

"Lanie come with me." Kate said getting up and walking into Ricks office. When Lanie had entered the room and locked the door Kate pulled her shirt over her head. Lanie gasped at what she saw, covering her friends torso were bruises ranging from one week too just two days old. Quickly Lanie left the room and went over to the boys asking for one of their police issue cameras before quickly disappearing again. Ten minutes later both women re-appeared Kate sitting somewhat closer to Rick as Javier and Kevin started to look through the pictures.

"Kate what's happened?" Whispered Rick quietly as he touched her arm gently.

"Just some bruises I have left from what Josh has done I'll show you later…"

"You'll show me…?" Rick asked shocked

"Yes, I trust you Rick" Kate said with complete honesty in her eyes.

"Thank you… for trusting me, I mean…" Rick murmured

"Always" Just then a cough came from the side of them, the others had gotten up and wanted to say their goodbyes before leaving. Alexis heard the door close but stayed upstairs for a few more minutes. When she went downstairs she froze as she saw Kate, whose upper body was covered in dark bruises. The two adults heard a sharp draw in of breath and turned to see Alexis staring at Kate.

"Kate what happened?" Lex asked her in a quiet voice as tears leaked slowly from her eyes.

"Josh happened…" Rick replied bitterly making Kate flinch slightly. When Lex heard this she slowly walked over to her dad's best friend pulling her into another hug. By now, Martha had re-entered the lounge and saw her family wrapped in an emotional embrace with a woman she had come to see as a daughter over the years. When all of the embraces finished Kate pulled her shirt back on and Martha announced she was going for a night on the town, leaving Kate, Rick and Alexis. There was a knock on the door a few minutes later signaling the arrival of food just as Rick was about to re-shut the door Ashley appeared. As Kate and Rick dished up the meal, Alexis told Ashley that she couldn't go out that evening because she was having a family night in.

"It's not a family night in if your dad's partner is there!" Ashley exclaimed

"Kate is the closest thing to a mother I have ever really had! So if you say she isn't a part of my family again you can consider us over..."

"They aren't together!"

"They don't need to be together she is the only constant woman in my life that isn't my gran! And just because they aren't together now doesn't mean they won't be!"

"Whatever I'll see you at school." Ashley said before turning and leaving. Alexis shut the door and turned to see her father and Kate stood with their mouths hanging open.

"How much did you hear?"

"Do you really see me as a mother figure?" Kate asked shocked

"Yeah, I guess I do... I don't want things to be awkward though."

"Alexis, sweetie, it wouldn't be awkward. I don't mind that you see me as a mother figure... In fact I quite like it!" Kate said with a smile

"You mean it?"

"Yeah, I know I may not be your mother but if you need me to play that part for you I won't complain and I doubt your father would either."

"Does that mean I'll get to see you more and call if I need advice and everything?"

"If that's what you want then sure!" Over the rest of the weekend the family spent more time together and when Monday came around they weren't looking forward to being separated. Kate went to the precinct, Alexis went to school and Rick went some meeting about his next book. Kate had just finished some more paperwork when her phone rang. She quickly dropped everything she was holding and grabbed her phone.

"Kate!..." Alexis called desperately down the phone.

"Lex? What's wrong? Has something happened?" Kate responded quickly which gained puzzled looks from many of her co-workers.

"Kate can you come and get me?"

"Yeah, of course I can sweetie I'll be right there."

"Can I stay with you for the rest of the day?"

"I'm sure that will be fine, I'm only doing paperwork. I'm on my way now." Kate responded as she clambered into her car.

"See you then..." It took twenty minutes for Kate to arrive at Alexis's school. She made her way to the office in which Alexis flung herself at her. Kate wrapped her arms gently around the young girl while her friends and the staff watched on.

"What happened?" Kate asked softly

"Ashley punched her..." One of Alexis's friends spoke up.

"He's in with the principal now..."

"Does the principal need to speak to me now or can I take Alexis home?"

"You can take her we will contact you or her father if we need anything." An office lady said. Kate smiled tensely still holding Alexis to her as she walked out picking up her bag as she went. Once they got to the car Kate helped Alexis in, before getting in the driver's side.

"Lex, I need to pop into the precinct to sign off for a couple more days. I'll stay home with you."

"Can I come up with you?"

"Sure sweetie, if you want we could eat your father out of ice cream!"

"Yeah..." Alexis smiled at her softly. When they arrived on the homicide squad room; Javier and Kevin along with others looked over in shock at the image of detective Kate Beckett hold her partners daughter closely. Kate led Alexis over to her desk and asked her to stay there while she went and spoke to the captain. Kate was in with the captain for a few minutes before she heard a scream which made her dart into the main room to see that Alexis had pushed herself back against a wall when one of the officers had come near her. When Alexis looked up she saw Kate and rushed yet again towards her, clinging to her with all her might.

"Can we please go home?" Alexis murmured into her neck.

"Sure, sweetie. Let's go." Kate said in a motherly way shocking people even more. When they arrived at the loft Alexis broke-down tears were pouring from her eyes.

"I don't know what I did wrong!" Alexis exclaimed sniffling

"I felt the same way when Josh did what he did."

"I can't believe we only found out about what he did a few days ago."

"I know sweetie" Kate said with a smile

"I like that..." Alexis stated

"Like what?"

"You calling me sweetie, it's like dad calling me pumpkin"

"Really? You don't think it's too cliché?"

"It is cliché but it makes me feel closer to you. I also like it because you don't need to acknowledge my existence but you do and calling me sweetie makes it seem stronger."

"My mom used to call me sweetie so it just seemed right..."

"And that reason makes it even more special to me!... You know you're good at this mom thing"

"I am?"

"Yeah, you kept me distracted from what Ash did..."

"Why did he do it?"

"I broke up with him."

"Why?"

"He said you weren't part of my family! And don't blame yourself for me getting punched because it's not your fault. I didn't know he could be such a..." Alexis said struggling for words as the conversation faded. The two sat together in a comfortable silence for nearly an hour when the front door burst open revealing a frazzled looking Richard Castle. He spent a frantic few minutes making sure his daughter was okay, when he was sure everything was fine he slumped down on the couch next to Alexis. That sat in a comfortable silence until Alexis decided she would go to her room for a while leaving her father and Kate together. When Alexis was safely upstairs, Rick moved to sit closer to Kate.

"Kate?" He asked softly into her ear.

"Mmmhmm…" She hummed back as she turned to face him.

"I don't think I have ever adored you this much." He continued staring into her eyes.

"How'd you mean?"

"Well, you've – we've been through so much in these past months, you especially. And, yet, you still put a smile on your face and you have taken my daughter under your wing. It makes you so much more extraordinary and so beautifully strong, you wouldn't believe it." He still spoke almost silently.

"Rick,"

"No, Kate, listen to me. What I'm trying to say, is that you deserve so much more than you receive. I want to be able to be there for you every step of the way. I would really like to be the person you come to for comfort and not worry about what I think. You need people who understand you, Kate, and I want to be that person. The one there for you through thick and thin; the one who can hold you and protect you, when you need it. You see, Kate, I have fallen hard and I don't think I can find my way back. I know you probably think that it is too soon after the whole 'Josh' issue but I'm tired of acting like I don't care about you, like I don't love you." Rick stated still staring into her eyes, afraid to break their hold.

"Rick, you have got to be the sweetest guy-man I have ever met and…" Kate responded slightly shakily.

"I knew it. I knew you didn't feel the same way! It's ok we can stay friends and I will work on moving on," Rick quickly put in after hearing her wavering voice.

"Shut up, Rick! I need you to listen to me now, ok?" After seeing his nod, she continued "You didn't give me chance to finish. I need you to stop jumping to conclusions. I'm tired of pretending as well, Rick. I think I started falling for you from day one but I'm always to stubborn to admit things. It has been hard for me to let people in since my mother died but you have wormed your way past my defenses and into my heart, Rick. You're in my heart and I don't want you to leave. I'm not used to caring for people the way I do for you, for Alexis… Hell, for my family at the precinct. I would stop working on my mother's case if it meant keeping you with me. Rick, you are my life and I wouldn't change that, ever. I want to live my life! I want to not drown in my mother's case. I want a family; I need a family, someone who depends on me like I depend on them."

"I want that too. What I would love more than anything is to have that with you." Rick said as he brought his hand up to cup her jaw gently. He moved his head slightly closer waiting patiently for her to make her move. After what seemed like minuets to him, she shifted herself ever closer. Their lips brushed gently, nothing more than chaste. Kate then pushed herself closer pressing her lips gently to his. Rick responded adding a return pressure of his own. They pulled apart only to gravitate together again, their mouths clashing as if clinging to the feeling of each other. He tentatively swiped his tongue along her lower lip, begging for entrance. When she responded to his actions their individual tongues battle softly with each other. Moaning softly Kate moved across and straddled his lap, Rick's free hand moving to sit firmly at her waist. After a few more moments exploring each other's mouths, the pair pulled apart breathing heavily.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that," Rick told her gently, making her smirk.

"I think I have a fair idea..." came her cheeky response. Kate moved back just as a knock sounded through the apartment. "I'll get it," she said moving from the couch. When she opened the door her eyes fell upon her team mates and Laine holding bags of Chinese.

"Answering the door now, girl!" Laine said making Kate roll her eyes.

"Well, are you gonna let us in?" Javier added, Kate nodded her head and let them in. As they walked further into the loft they saw Rick trying to turn the TV on.

"Kate?" Alexis called from upstairs.

"Yeah?"

"Can you come here for a minute?" Kate looked at the other occupants of the room shooting them a smile as she headed towards the stairs.

"I'm coming!" Kate yelled as she darted swiftly up the stairs. When she entered Alexis' room she noticed the girl sat on her bed grinning at her. "What?"

"So, I heard you talking to dad..."

"Really? What did you hear?" Kate asked smiling slightly.

"You admitted that you like each other!"

"Did we?"

"Yes! It's great because now you've admitted it you're one step closer to becoming my official mom..." Alexis exclaimed.

"You want that?"

"Yes!"

"You know what Lex?"

"What?"

"I love you..."

"I love you too..." Lex responded grinning more widely.

"Come on! The guys have brought food around for lunch..." Kate said grabbing Alexis' hands pulling her up and out of her room. They made their way downstairs and into the lounge Alexis wrapped her arms around Kate from behind, making the pair walk awkwardly. The group looked up when they heard the girls laughing. None of them had ever seen Kate so happy. Alexis then leaned up a whispered something in Kate's ear causing the older woman to freeze with a small smile on her face.

"That's not going to happen for a while Lex!"

"Why not?" she whined

"Because -"

"That's not an answer!" Alexis exclaimed in replies to Kate's vague answer.

"I'm not going to give you an answer with everyone here; anyway, it isn't like the decision rests solely on me!" Kate said laughing as they sat down.

"Oh, you mean it takes two to tango?" Alexis asked innocently.

"I guess, but tango-ing doesn't always mean getting that response. It's a decision that is made between the tango-ers" Kate said which gained a look of recognition to flash across Rick's face. Laine and the boys stared at Kate like they had never seen her before.

"Girl, what's got into you?"

"What do mean?" Kate responded honestly.

"You've gone all -"

"You've gone very family-ly..." Javier tried to finish.

"Is that a bad thing?" Kate asked with a grin

"No, I would say it has made you happier." Kevin responded. The whole time they were talking they were making their way through their meals. The visitors left after an hour needing to get back to work. Alexis eventually ventured back upstairs leaving the remaining pair together.

"So, Lex asked you about kids?" Rick started

"Yup."

"Do you want kids?"

"Yup."

"Now?"

"Nope, I want to wait a little longer before having a baby."

"But you want one?"

"Didn't we just go over this Rick?"

"Yeah, I wanted to be sure though. Do you want kids with me?"

"Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"Think back to our conversation earlier. What did I say?"

"That you wanted a family and I said I would like one with you."

"Exactly and how did I respond?"

"You kissed me."

"And there's your answer, Rick." A smile broke out on his face. He moved around the counter towards her, reaching out he gently tugged her to him by her belt loops. When she moved close enough to him, he kissed the top of her head. His head lowered and he kissed her nose before moving onto her lips. They smile against each other's mouths, reveling in the added closeness of their partnership.

A couple of hours later, some of Alexis' friends arrived to see how she was. Kate and Lex were sat up in her room when they arrived. Alexis' friends knocked on the door and entered and saw Kate lounging across the bed and Lex was prancing around her room making the older woman laugh heavily.

"Hi guys!" Kate said between laughs, "Don't mind Lex, she's just doing an impression of the Deep Fried Twinkie!"

"Hey!" the girl in question said as she flopped down on top of Kate.

"How are you?" Paige asked

"I'm doing ok." Lex responded with a tight smile.

"KATE!" Rick's call came from downstairs.

"YEAH?"

"ROY IS ON THE PHONE!"

"I'M COMING!" she ruffled Alexis' hair as she got up and left the room leaving the kids behind.

"Who is she?" one of Lex's friends asked curious.

"Kate. She is the one my dad based the Nikki Heat series on. I'm really close to her; she is the closest thing I have to a mother." Alexis stated brightening up when talking about her 'mother'.

"You don't talk about her much..." they friend said again.

"Yeah, I do. When I talk about Det. Beckett or my dad's friend it is almost always about her!" The smile on Alexis' face getting wider as she said always.

"Always?" Paige asked looking at Alexis.

"What about it?"

"Your face lit up when you said it."

"Oh, right. It's their word, my dad and Kate's, when they have a serious or meaningful moment one of them usually ends up saying it!" She explained while getting an idea, "Would you guys like to stay for tea?"

"I would, if it's ok!" Paige said while the others declined. Half an hour later the others left leaving Paige who went with Alexis to find one of the adults. The pair only managed to find Kate who was pottering around the kitchen.

"Kate? Where's my dad?"

"Hey, girls. Your dad went out to grab something I need for tonight's meal. Are you staying Paige?"

"Only if it's ok. How did you know I was Paige?"

"It's fine. And Lex told me who you were before she did the Deep Fried Twinkie impression." Kate responded with a grin.

"What's this I hear about Meredith? She's not here is she?" Rick as he came in carrying the groceries, looking worried.

"Don't worry..." Kate said smiling at him, "She isn't here but Lex does a very funny impression of her! Oh, Paige is staying for tea."

"Ah, good. How are you, Paige? I haven't seen you for a while." Rick asked while placing his purchases down by Kate before gently wrapping his arms around her and placing his chin on her shoulder.

"I've been great Mr. Castle. I have been busy with family and general work."

"I'm glad you've been ok, how's school?"

"It's good. I'm thinking about going to England for Uni. How have you been?"

"Things have been pretty cool. Working at the precinct is really great and we have had a few interesting cases. Well except almost dying in a freezer, that wasn't a high point." His eyes dancing with light happiness.

"You nearly froze to death?" Paige asked him astonished

"Not just my dad, Kate too, they are both stubborn and went rouge when they got kicked off a case. They got trapped in a freezer; we found them in each other's arms trying to keep warm. Kate was passed out and my dad was very close to it." Alexis explained. Kate felt Rick's arms tighten around her.

"Why don't you two go and watch a movie upstairs while we prepare the food." Rick said to the two kids while his arms stayed firm around his partner. The two nodded and went upstairs Rick buried his head in the crook of Kate's neck. She shifted slightly, her hand moved to rest on top of his.

"Rick?" Kate questioned softly

"We could have died. Kate, we could have lost each other and left every one behind. I didn't want to think about it then but talking about it just made it hit home. I could have lost you in that freezer and you could have lost me. Alexis and everyone else could have lost both or one of us that day. We nearly died three times in two days but we didn't talk about it. Nobody knows how I felt standing next to you watching the clock count down. I was happy. How stupid is it to be happy when you're going to die? I was happy because I kept thinking at least the last thing I would see was your face. I didn't think of my daughter, mother or the team. In that moment all I could think about was you."

"Rick, I was thinking the exact same thing. So we can be stupid together." Kate turned swiftly and pressed her lips gently to his, "Anyway, we need to get cooking we have two kids getting hungry upstairs!" With that, the duo started creating their master piece of tastiness. They moved gracefully around each other oblivious to the two teens silently watching them, instead of watching a movie.


End file.
